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Most leaders expect growth to feel good. You do the work, gain insight, make progress… and imagine the path will get easier from there.

But that isn’t always how inner change works.

Very often, the moment you lead with more presence and confidence, something unexpected happens. The old fears you thought you’d buried surge back with force. The Mask wakes up. Not because you’ve gone backwards but because you’ve moved forward.

This edition is for that moment.

One of my clients had been making steady progress in showing up with more confidence during senior leadership meetings. For weeks, things were flowing. Less overthinking. More clarity. Less self-criticism. More ease.

Then, after a routine meeting, his manager offered a small piece of constructive feedback. Nothing dramatic. Nothing personal.

Yet he told me, “I felt like I’d just been punched in the stomach. I thought I was past reacting like this.”

He hadn’t slipped backwards. His Mask had simply been threatened by his own progress.

This is something many leaders don’t understand. They assume discomfort means failure. In reality, it’s a sign that the Mask is losing control.

Here’s the real tension:

But your Mask was built in a very different era of your life. It was shaped by fear, uncertainty, and the identity you built to survive earlier challenges. When you grow beyond that identity, the Mask reacts. It knows change threatens its influence. It fears irrelevance.

That tension is not a setback. It's the sign of an internal shift.

In Unmask the Confident Leader Within, I explain the Mask has three major advantages over your conscious mind:

So, when you grow into a new level of leadership, the Mask interprets this as a threat to the old story it has protected for years.

It says things like:

You don’t choose these thoughts. They arrive from a fearful identity that is losing ground.

This is what many leaders don’t realise: Your Mask is not resisting failure. It is resisting your growth.

You will recognise the physical signals long before you recognise the pattern.

This is not regression. This is the Mask pulling old weapons off the shelf.

Your job is not to eliminate the feeling. Your job is to recognise the source.

When the Mask resurfaces, here’s a simple way to regain control.

Step 1. Spot the comeback Identify the exact moment the old pattern returned. “I’m shrinking again.” “I’m getting defensive.” “I’m overthinking this.”

Step 2. Call it what it is “This is my Mask reacting, not me.” Naming it separates you from it. Your presence comes back online instantly.

Step 3. Choose one conscious act A single action that belongs to the leader you are becoming.

It might be:

Small choices build enormous momentum. The Mask relies on you being unconscious. Once you’re awake, it loses power.

If your Mask is fighting back, take heart. It means something is shifting. You are outgrowing an old identity and stepping into a more conscious one.

The Mask wants familiarity. Leadership wants growth. Only one of them is actually you.

The work isn’t about perfection. It’s about staying awake long enough to notice the moment fear tries to reclaim you, and choosing who leads from there.

If this resonated and you want to understand how your Mask behaves under pressure, take the free Leadership Mask assessment. It will help you uncover the specific fear pattern that activates during your moments of growth.