Hi {{first_name}}

John is the CEO of a national charity with over 200 staff. Highly competent, well respected, and by every measure a successful leader.

He couldn't delegate. Every task that mattered, he kept for himself. His people waited for direction instead of making decisions, not because they lacked ability, but because John had trained them to wait for his approval.

He reviewed every document. Rewrote things that were already good enough. Worked 70-hour weeks while everyone around him worked 40.

When I asked him what would happen if he handed something over fully — no edits, no rescue — his immediate response was: "They'd make mistakes. It would reflect poorly on me."

I asked: "What's the evidence for that?"

He paused. There wasn't any. His people had performed well when given autonomy before.

In my work, I call this something I call "The Mask" — an unconscious fear-based pattern that takes over before you've had time to think. John's particular version is the Perfectionist Mask. It convinced him that anything less than flawless would expose him as not good enough. So he controlled everything, and those around him stopped trying.

There's a simple three-step process I teach to work with this. I call it the 3Rs:

Realise: notice when the pattern is running. For John, it was thoughts like... I'm going to muck this up... this isn't ready... I should know this.

Reject: challenge the Mask's logic. John's evidence? A Masters-level qualification, twenty years of leadership, and capable colleagues who had handled things well without him before.

Respond: choose consciously. John picked one task. Delegated it fully. Defined success, then stepped back. Within three months, he'd handed over 40% of his workload.

John's Mask still shows up. The thoughts still arrive. But now he recognises them and asks: "Is this the Mask, or is this me?"

That question changes everything.

Wednesday: the delegation myth senior leaders believe.

Gavin