Hi {{first_name}}

Someone in a meeting challenges a decision you've made. Not aggressively. Thoughtfully. They raise a concern, offer an alternative perspective, suggest a different approach.

Notice what happens in your body before your mouth opens. The tightness. The heat. The immediate urge to explain, justify, or redirect.

You may think they're protecting their reasoning. Defending the logic. Holding the line.

But when the same response shows up every time a colleague offers input, it stops being leadership and starts being something else.

I call it the Defensive Mask.

This is the third Mask I've introduced in this newsletter, after the Perfectionist and the Overachiever. Each is driven by a different fear. The Defensive Mask is driven by a fear of judgement: the belief that admitting mistakes, weaknesses, or gaps in knowledge will diminish your respect and authority.

It shows up in recognisable ways. Rejecting or rationalising feedback rather than sitting with it. Shifting responsibility onto others rather than acknowledging errors. Avoiding vulnerability. Resisting new ideas because they feel like an implied criticism of the old ones.

The internal soundtrack: If they criticise me, it means I'm not good enough... Admitting I'm wrong will make me look weak... I must protect myself from people who challenge me.

The cost is rarely visible to the leader wearing it. But it's visible to everyone around them. People stop sharing honest input. Difficult conversations get avoided. Blind spots grow, and the leader is the last to know.

A senior leader I coached described it clearly: "I thought I was being decisive. My team thought I was being closed."

That gap between intention and impact is where the Defensive Mask operates most effectively.

Wednesday: why the leaders who ask for honesty rarely get it.

Best wishes,
Gavin